Sunday, January 08, 2006

Said I Wasn't Gonna Say Nothin'

Okay. NBC has a sitcom called "The Book of Daniel" which features a preacher and his dysfunctional family, including a coupla queers, a drug dealin' kid and a relative who steals from the church. The show also features the padre having regular chats with Jesus, who, except for the long white robe, appears to be just an average dude. The American Family Association, champions of all things homogeneously Christian, is calling on members to pressure local NBC affiliates to not carry the show, and some are indeed opting not to. One affiliate claims his decision not to carry the show isn't because of content, but to protest what he calls strong-arm tacticts of the parent network.

Let me understand this. You're an affiliate of NBC. You're unhappy with the obligation to carry shows your owner, if you will, wants you to. I'll make some concessions here. I don't know how this works, but I'm thinking that if you refuse programming often enough, your affiliate relationship will be jeopardized. And, aren't you, small station manager, benefitting from your relationship with a larger network? If you're so unhappy with orders from the big bosses, why not sever ties and do your own thing? Oh, wait, I know why. Because your small station gets to take advantage of big advertising dollars. Betcha this cat won't refuse to carry something like the Super Bowl because he's afraid a boob will pop out. Sigh.

But never mind those small potatoes. Riddle me this. Why call yourself the American Family Association, or the Family Research Council, or Concerned Women for America, or blah blah blah America when you're not interested in representing all of America? What's up with the sanitizing and Christianizing of America? Do these people really think that there will be no more gays and lesbians if other gays and lesbians never see themselves in magazines or on television? Do they really believe that seeing less sex on television make people less inclined to have sex? How did we all get here before television if no one was having sex? Does criminalizing abortion mean women won't have them? Or get pregnant? And where are these women so concerned for America when all these babies are born? Are they lining up to adopt? No? Okay.

Then, why is it that homo-haters are always busted soliciting gay sex? And I'm not talkin' about just trying to get a boyfriend. I'm talkin' about chasing down anonymous sex in a bathroom or trolling for male hookers. We've always said that the ones who yell faggot the loudest usually are.

And, why is Pat Robertson still allowed to speak? Between him and Jerry Falwell, he's really making Christians sound dumber than dirt. Why isn't Israel knocking on his Virginia doors and whoopin' his ass for saying that Ariel Sharon's stroke is God vengeance for trying to create peace between Israel and Palestine? And why are people taking Jim Dobson seriously? Weren't we convinced he was a horse's ass with the Teletubbies and Spongebob fiascos? Now he's targeting Barbie? He needs to tell Mattel to put some meat on Barbie's bones.

And, Fred Phelps (I'm not calling him Reverend because there is little reverent about him), who can't let a day go by without a protest, is now targeting soldiers' funerals. You heard me correct. The same guy who thinks the king of Sweden "looks all slutty and gay" plans to start his God Hates Fags crusade at the funerals of American soldiers who died protecting America. He's protesting because America harbors gays, and the death of soldiers is God's wrath for doing so. He's joining the so-called religious folk who blame natural disasters across the globe on homosexuality.

Mama said she wasn't gonna say nothin, because she needs to keep her head on somethin, but I can't hold my tongue. At what point does the media stop giving these crackpots a mic? Don't we ignore tantrum-throwing children in the hope that they'll get bored with their tirade and zip it? We can't, Constitutionally, shut them up, but we can opt to ignore them. why, in the name of all things holy, do they still get media attention? If only 20 or so percent of American Christians identify as evangelicals, why is the remaining 80% not screaming at them to shut the holy hell up? Do they have that much power?

Oh, my sweet Lord, help me.


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