Friday, October 14, 2005

It's Friday at Noah's Place

Eight straight days of rain. Parts of the NY metro area have so much water that residents are using rowboats to get around. As for me, I've spent the last three days between my bedroom and bathroom because I can't go anywhere else.

It's been five weeks since my surgery, and I'm ready to cut my cast off myself. Fuck physical therapy. I'll just walk around until either my leg goes numb and I can't feel anything, or until it just gets better. Isn't that what our foreparents did anyway? None of this namby-pamby cast bullshit.

And, thanks to whatever, we have mice in the building, and at least one in the apartment. Great. The wife hates mice more than I do, and thanks to my immobility, she's the one to have to deal with them. Nonviolence be damned, I hope the gross little fuckers drop dead, but not in my apartment.

I once moved out of an apartment after seeing one mouse, and I'm not above doing it again as soon as my leg is better. Because the fuckers are nocturnal, I sleep with earplugs so I don't hear anything at night.

So, since I'm home with daytime t.v., let me share my daytime faves:

Cops -- sorry, White people, but nothing beats the sweet schadenfreude of seeing y'all act a fool on national t.v. The moment you mix White people and alcohol, it's on.

Ellen -- it's sweeter than pancakes with syrup. Her more-than-slightly goofy not-really-interviewing guests is a nice way to start the day. Plus, she's the only White person I know that can make middle America comfortable dancing to "Drop It Like It's Hot" and yelling "holla!"

Martha -- she's a tight-assed marketing genius who not only turned homemaking into a multi-million dollar industry, but she is working the hell outta the whole "I've been to jail, so quitcherbitchin" angle.

Court shows -- it used to be that the Jerry Springer show was the only game in town for airing the dirtiest of laundry, but when you add money to the wash, you end up with one helluva rinse.

Anyway, happy Friday. Somebody please send me a cast cutter.

1 Comments:

Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

The weather is turning cooler, you'll see more mice than in summer. Glue traps work good. I'd put them under cabinetry or furniture or on top of your fridge etc. Wherever you see droppings is a good place to put a trap (provided you don't have a cat or a dog in the household as well).

They work great. Honestly!

1:26 AM  

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