Thursday, September 08, 2005

From Where I Stand Will be Seated

Yet another reason for dropping those extra pounds: a little thing called pes planus, or flat foot, for the common folk. Yours truly didn't think much about having flat feet until back in May when I was training for a short little road race. I hit the treadmill, did my warm-up walk, and was all set for my run when the most incredible pain shot through my foot and ankle. Silly me, I thought, I must have sprained it. Went to see the ortho, who informed me, after x-rays and a clever little test, that the problem wasn't an ankle injury, but a foot injury. And, it wasn't really an injury, either, it was a degenerative condition called foot deformity caused by the total collapse of the arch in my right foot. The bones in said foot have pushed out to the side, causing pain and misalignment of my ankle, not to mention a nasty bruise from the internal bleeding that resulted from the tearing of the tendon that gives one an arch to begin with, and shortening of my calf muscle (geez, who knew that happened?). Lest you think I was seen by some shyster, this guy is the section chief for foot & ankle stuff, and has performed more than 300 of the procedures I'm about to have, lateral column lengthening. A sugar cube-sized piece of bone will be carved out of my pelvis, shoved into an incision made in my ankle, and anchored by a permanent pin. Why not just the soft tissue repair? Because, kids, I'm too fat to avoid future problems without the bone graft. On the bright side, after 2 non-weight bearing casts and one pneumatic boot later, my foot will be better, stronger, faster. Despite my wife's protestations, I might even be able to run again, which will help me drop more weight. And, hopefully, a steady dose of orthotics for my shoes will keep me from having the same thing done to my left foot, although it would be nice, so to speak, to have scarring symmetry.

I'm sharing my literal and figurative pain with you because my recuperation will put me on my back for at least 6 weeks. Six weeks of no web surfing. No blogging. My days will be whiled away with real books and really bad television, washed down with a two week supply of Oxy-Contin (told you I had a great surgeon). I beg you not to desert me. Read my archives. I may even surprise you and post now and then if I can figure out how to put a chair under my enormous, yet painfully short desk. Someone may be kind and gift me with a PowerBook. I will more than likely work from home, because New Yorkers don't care if you're staggering onto the train with crutches. They won't give up their seat because they figure if you got to the train, you can tough out the ride. I'd rather not end up in jail for beating up some guy pretending to be asleep when me and my extra legs assume a spot in front of him. I'll pass until I have 2 working legs.

So, see you in October. Please don't forget Hurricane Katrina victims. Take advantage of volunteer opportunities. Never let The Man know you're not paying attention. Be good to your kids because they'll pick your nursing home. Make love not war. Mostly, pray.



Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

I feel your pain. I've got two heel spurs (same foot) and plantara fasciitis. I sleep with a boot and now use orthotics. They help a bit. However, last night I took in my first yoga class in a long while, and although it hurt IN the class, the morning after, I *NOTICE* that after all the intensive foot work (very precise placement) which really worked out stretching those muscles etc... the morning after, I'm walking a bit better, with noticably less pain. It's not completely gone and don't think this was a magical thing, but as we get older, things collapse, shift, and tend to shrink! when it comes to muscles etc, and we can take care of it now when we're young enough to make a difference or we can ignore it, and end up walking with a cane when we're older.

Good luck with the grafting!

12:34 PM  
Blogger whiterabbit1967 said...

Your blog makes me think. I lurk and don't post comments because I am usually too busy thinking when I get done reading your posts. But I'll be waiting for your return.

To me, you are a modern day philosopher, stirring things up by asking questions that others are too chicken too ask, making statements that most people want swept under the rug, so they don't have to *think*. Good for you.

I'll be praying for you, for a speedy recovery and for the overall improvement of your physical health.

"Your sister in Christ"

1:05 PM  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

HOping all is well with the foot and the surgery.

Looking forward to your return!

10:29 AM  

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