Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Boycott! Boycott! Boycott!

Forget Jim West and his insipid, self-loathing, chicken-hawkin' ass. Here's juicy for ya. The AFA, the American Family Association (as opposed to any family association that isn't American), is launching a nationwide boycott of Ford Motors for its pledge to donate $1000 to the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) for every Jaguar and Land Rover sold. Heavens to mergatroid!

For those of you unfamiliar with these nutbaskets, the AFA is an ultra right-wing, ultra conservative Christian group that pretty much protests everything that's sexy, mocks religion, makes gays look good, and just about causes them discomfort. According to an MSNBC report, as of Tuesday, the AFA has protests mounted against:

  • Carl's Jr.
  • Kraft Foods
  • Mary Kay Cosmetics
  • Old Navy
  • NutriSystem

They recently ended their nine-year protest against Disney for a number of things, including but not limited to Gay Day and Miramax Pictures, the film company that produced and distributed such Christian baiters as "Priest" and "Dogma." The AFA hit Disney because of its, DRUMROLL PLEASE:

“attitude, arrogance and embrace of the homosexual lifestyle.”

So, according to, Ford is quite the little conglomerate. In addition to Ford, they also own Lincoln Mercury (the preacher's car), Mazda (the cheap car), Volvo (the soccer mom's car), Jaguar, Land Rover (the Litchfield County SUV of choice), and Aston Martin (of 007 fame). Thus, the idea is, don't buy or lease any of these cars, and let the dealers know you're pissed off. What fools these mortals be. First, the people who buy these cars could give a rat's ass about how Ford chooses to get a tax break, er, give back to the community. Second, the AFA ended their boycott (or chosen to "move on") because they feel they've made their point. Funny, Disney hasn't sold off Miramax. Gay Day is still taking place this weekend. And, God help me, they've pretty much stink bagged even megacompanies closest to their own imperialist agenda, including Wal-Mart (for having an LGBT employee group) and S.C. Johnson Wax. Pampers, Crest, K-Mart, Burger King, no one is safe. Oooh, let's go run and hide in the closet now.

You know what to do, people. Spend your meager tax refund on a car, preferably a Mazda (I thought these yahoos didn't like foreign cars anyway). Clean your house with Clorox. Get those Crest Whitestrips so your teeth will be sparkly in time for your local Gay Pride March. Eat Kraft Mac & Cheese -- it's the cheesiest! Go to Disney for real cheese!

Seriously, none of the companies hit by these protests have suffered. America protects its corporations too well. But, as I've said over and over and over, boys who like boys and girls who like girls need to come out, stay out, and stop acting like you don't matter. It's not as though no one knows about you anyway.


Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

Aren't these the same folks who was all in the media saying Spongebob Square pants or the Booh-Bahs (oopsies, I think it was the Teletubbies) were gay? I just don't see what the big threat IS. Speaking as a hetero-fallopian American, I just don't see how anyone else's marriage or lifestyle for that matter, has any bearing on MY LIFE.

It's amazing how intolerant and hateful some of these groups are, when they put themselves out there as Christian or "Family" oriented.

7:54 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home