Monday, May 16, 2005

Just Pissed Off

I'm pissed off. Just pissed off. Some of you have asked why I haven't written since the beginning of April. I couldn't write. I was just too furious. Apologies in advance for the tirade I'm about to go off on.

You, Mr. Conservative, White Man, married to a gutless woman who joyfully sits under your thumb, have kidnapped my country. You've hijacked the American people and are holding them to some warped ideology birthed by television. Yes, television. Ozzie & Harriet were not a real freakin' American couple. They were made up!! Probably made up by your fathers in an attempt to make sure that any World War II gains made by people who weren't like you (women, gays, Blacks) wouldn't hold ground. You created an ideal that made you fat & comfortable, and you made America, fresh from its victory against Germany & Japan, feel really good about itself. You convinced White men that their rightful place was not alongside brown-skinned peoples, or people who didn't speak English, but on top of the moral dung heap that would morph sickeningly into corporate greed and bloody suppression of any ideal; moral, political, or economic, that wasn't pointedly American. You convinced White women that they needed men to survive, but that to be a complete woman, they had to give up ideas of making money of their own, become your shot rag, and force out babies they might have thought twice about having had they known their kids would spawn not one, but two generations of thieves and liars. You stole riches and resources from countries that were not so much stupid, as naive; naive enough to believe that in exchange for the gold, diamonds, manufacturing facilities, and fossil fuels they gave you, you would provide economic opportunity for their people, protection from nearby bullies, and help with building their own government that would "teach a man how to fish" instead of throwing fish at them. You stole from your own people by forcing local farmers to stop growing crops in natural ways, but by buying up their lands to create mega-farms that produce engineered freaks of nature that would eventually lead to disease among the poorest of America. You convinced the masses that men who love men and women who love women were sick freaks worthy of death. You convinced the masses that sex and desire was bad if it veered from YOUR narrow view; that of the man-on-top, submissive woman married variety. You lied to Black and brown people; Blacks thought they really would get 40 acres & a mule once emancipated. You thought it was okay to steal land out from under Native Americans because your guns were bigger than their bows & arrows.

And Black folks, if you think you're gonna get off scot-free, think again. Some of you call yourselves saved, sanctified, filled with the Holy Ghost, and fire-baptized because you can speak ta-ha-ta-ha-ta-ha, dance to the right drumbeat and walking bass line, wear a doily on your head and a long skirt, and go to church 3 times on Sunday (Sunday school at 9, service at 11, break for a high-fat, high-calorie lunch, and back to church for evening service). Some of you swishy, loud suit-wearin, perfect hair havin' men scream I TAKE IT UP THE ASS, BUT WON'T ADMIT TO BEING GAY BECAUSE I'M THE PASTOR OF THE CHURCH. Some of you women need a good lay so you'll stop eating everything in sight because you're too afraid of what somebody will say if you actually act on the sexual impulses you have. Some of you believe hook, line, and sinker that not only does the White evangelical Republican care about you because you're all one in the Spirit, but that he'll do for you what he promised to do for Africa, Latin America, and the Middle East: throw some dollars at your community and treat you like an equal. Wake up and smell the rope burning -- these are the same folks waiting to lynch you once you call in your chip. And the rest of you know-little, care-little Black folks, busy making babies you can't and won't take care of, won't go to school to learn something that will really make you money, practicing your jump shot or your rap lyrics thinking you'll be the next 50 Cent or Lebron James, daily weed-smokin', loud-talkin', bling-bling live for the moment, prison-worshipping, thug life celebratin', living in the projects but driving a luxury car, no priorities-having, party-all-the-time buffoons -- thanks for nothing. You make it really easy to work harder than necessary to have a decent life, and be treated decently by those in power.

I'll stop here because I'm out of breath and just pissed off. And, quite frankly, I don't give a rat's ass if you're reading this and thinking "Well, what are you planning to do about it?" That's my point. I'm pissed off because I keep doing. I keep yelling at my neighbor when he feels the need to practice his lyrics on the stoop at 11pm -- go in the house, work on your resume, and get a real job so my tax dollars won't end up supporting your new baby because your erection kept you from thinking clearly enough to put a condom on. I keep coming out whenever I can so no one can say they don't know a lesbian. I continue to be a church musician so some young woman who plays the piano won't be relegated to singing in the choir or taking a non-leadership role because she only sees boys playing in the band at church.

I'm just pissed off. That's it and that's all.


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