Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Anytime Now, Lord (Again)

I warned you that I would use this title again...

So, by now you should've heard about Plan B. To paraphrase badly, it's over-the-counter emergency contraception. And, of course, the mostly Christian Sex Police are doing their best to block its availability because they believe women will use it in a cavalier manner; i.e. "damn, why did I do the horizontal bone dance with that loser last night." Or, worse: "Screw my husband. He thinks I want to have his brat? This oughta take care of things."

Yes, I'm being a bit cavalier myself about it, but if you think about it, that's what THEY are thinking. And, to fight your enemy, kids, you have to know your enemy. But, you may not know them as well as you think.

It seems that the head boy on the blocking tip is one Dr. David Hager (unfortunate last name, for the Biblical story of Hagar is so cool -- too cool for this low life). Dr. Hager, like so many of Bush 2's decision-making buddies, is a CHRISTIAN. I've decided that rather than sully my brand of Christianity with that of the nutjob variety, I'll just use all caps because I want to shout them out. And not only is Dr. H. a CHRISTIAN, he's a hypocrite and a rotten guy, as told by his former wife. According to an article in The Nation, the good doc repeatedly raped his wife anally, occasionally paid her to blow him, and was emotionally abusive, as if forcing your wife to have anal sex wasn't bad enough. What a prince. But, he believes God has called him to "step into the gap." A little theology lesson here: to step into the gap is to act on behalf of God; to speak for or to carry out a task on God's behalf. And Dr. H. believes that God has called him to have men treat women the way Jesus did, father-like and as an advisor (of course, because inferior woman needs superior man to help her decide whether she wants to have anal sex or not).

This guy is advising the government on matters of sexuality, and people are listening. Wake up, did you hear me? He's talking, and people are listening. We are SO turning the clock back it isn't funny.

Anytime now, Lord, feel free to step in and fix this mess. Oh you want us to step in the gap? Okay. Well, folks, you've heard it. After you've finished gettin' busy (safely, of course), we need to get busy. Stop forwarding that "Send Microsoft your email address so you can get paid" email, and tell your friends to establish a relationship with their elected officials. Put down the romance novels, or the latest soft porn from Zane, or the most recent political drama novel; turn off "Desperate Housewives" (you know what's gonna happen anyway, somebody's sleeping with somebody, somebody's bitch-slappin' somebody) and watch the news. Talk about something besides fashion or Paris Hilton or Usher's abs. We have a problem, and something has to be done.

AAARRGGHH!!!!!

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