Friday, February 11, 2005

I Heart Valentine's Day NOT!

Not because I'm not in love, because I am...
Not because I don't believe in celebrating love, because I do...
but because I can't freakin' stand the saccharinity of it!

Cheezus H. Christmas, it pisses me off to no end that a $3.00 bunch of roses from the Korean joint on the corner will cost me $5 bucks, just for the weekend, and a dinner for 2 that would be $50 bucks, including 3 courses and wine, will be $75 and up. Not to mention that you have to practically commit an unspeakable sex act to get a reservation.

A buddy of mine who is madly in love called in deep anxiety, looking for my recipe for chocolate covered strawberries (if you want to know, it has 2 ingredients: semisweet chocolate, and strawberries) with which to please her lady love. 15 minutes later, she was armed with the necessary info, including hints on selecting chocolate, melting chocolate, storing the strawberries once dipped (she plans to prepare them in advance). I admire her desire to make such a delightful gesture.

I, on the other hand, have no plans. Valentine's Day is significant for Lisa & I; we registered as domestic partners with the City, but it also falls on a Monday, and neither have we taken the day off, nor have we made special plans (part of that is because we're currently feuding, but that's another subject). And, we have rehearsal that night, so we wouldn't have time to do anything anyway. I'll get a card for her; I'd be a cad otherwise. I might even make a nice lunch for her to take to work, but that's probably it.

And why should there be anything special on Valentine's Day? Why have one day set aside for celebrating your love? Don't you do it on February 13? Tell him what a dirty dog he is on February 15? Why give roses, marked up 300% on February 14, only to have to make amends on March 18 for your green beer-induced behavior on March 17? Is sex better on February 14 than on the 15th?

If you can't do the horizontal boogie on January 31, save your money on February 14. Or, if you're a hopeless romantic, stay in on Valentine's Day. Cook together, if you're home. If you're working late, have dessert and a glass of champagne at 9pm (just one glass; after all, you both have to work the next day).

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone with love in their lives. If you're a parent, hug your kids. Siblings? Give a call to say hi. Call your parents. Single? Hang out with your friends. None of the above? Sit quietly somewhere and remember that although you're alone, there are things that connect us that we may never know about. And yes, if you're a couple, kiss. A lot. I plan to.

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