Friday, November 19, 2004

Wow -- A Dog or Prozac and The Naughty NFL

In the latest installment of Wow, or as I like to think of it "what the hell...", we are taken to the case of a young girl whose therapist prescribed a dog to alleviate her depression. Cute enough, I suppose, and admirable considering the knee-jerkism of medication for everything from toe fungus to phlasid (sic) phallus syndrome. However, this is not without a wrinkle. The family lives in a co-op complex that does not allow dogs. Rightfully, the co-op has sued for removal of the dog. The case went to court, the judge ruled in favor of the co-op, and the City of New York has decided it should intervene in order to appeal on the family's behalf.

I'm sorry, but here we go again with government's sticking its nose in business it shouldn't. In the projects, residents aren't allowed to have pets, and that's a damn good thing. Do you really think a 2 bedroom apartment occupied by 6 should really have as its 7th inhabitant a pit bull? A teacup terrier is just as bad. The point is that rules that are made to benefit the greater good should occasionally be bent or broken if it fails to serve the greater good. However, the family knew they couldn't have a dog in their residence and should have done the responsible thing, told the therapist, and worked together to find a different solution for the child's woe (no pun intended). Ballet class? Piano lessons? Girl Scouts? None of these were possible solutions? What about a program of temporary visitation with a dog like those programs that bring pets into nursing homes to lift the spirits of the residents?

And then, the city has the audacity to argue on behalf of the family. It's not like this is a public housing project, but we all know the city wouldn't do jack to help out your average project dweller anyway. The co-op is privately held. You sign on the dotted line to indicate that you'll abide by the board's ruling. Hell, one of the board members got slapped for dog visiting -- the board later affirmed that the dog in question was owned by a building visitor. I feel badly for the kid, but what the hell? NYC, it's clear that you either have too much time and/or money on your hands and have to make busy work. Here's an idea -- get on the side of the survivors of police brutality and argue to have those cops fired and sent to jail. Or, how about donating a portion of your salaries to fund art and music education in the schools.

And in other news...

If you're not a football fan or you've taken up residence in a cave, the opening of this week's Monday Night Football on ABC featured a skit between a naked Nicollette Sheridan, one of the hotties starring in "Desperate Housewives," one of ABC's fall lineup gems, and the Philadelphia Eagles' Terrell Owens. Free TV's arguable ode to "Sex & The City," the show features a buncha middle class white chicks with assorted problems, blah blah blah. The Nickster (famous for being the daughter of Telly Savalas and the great love of Leif Garrett -- he used to be cute as hell -- just goes to show that drugs are bad, hmkay?) is chillin' in the Eagles' locker room, dressed in a towel and tempts uniformed Terrell into ditching the game to kick it with her. He acquieces, the towel hits the floor, as you see FROM THE BACK OF HER, and she jumps into his arms. The complaints pour in. It's simply scandalous, says Mr. & Mrs. Incensed America.

Let's cut the niceties. NY Daily News columnist Bob Rasmussen prints the comments from a "Paul," some clown who may be from Anywhere, USA who calls into one of the shows on ESPN radio. Paulie shares why he was offended, and I guaran-damn-tee that he has summed up just why so many people were pissed off: "It (the incident) promotes my daughter going out with someone of another race." It's not like Nickie showed her titty, she showed her back. Hell, David Caruso's complete ass walked across television screens like 15 years ago -- America didn't fall into the sea over that. But don't ever let a fine specimen of White woman hood be taken by an evil Black buck --it's bad enough the team has a black quarterback. What happened to the good ol' days of blacks knowing their place and remaining on the defensive line?

If the NFL rolls over like that punk-ass Justin Timberlake did after Nipplegate, and jerks off Michael Powell and the FCC, I will lose my lunch. Stay tuned.


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