Sunday, October 31, 2004

Parenting Gone Right

Tuesday, October 19, 2004 was a notable day. It was the day when my dear goddaughter officially gained 2 mommies. In a world where humans are so disposable (we send our loved ones off to fight a war for no particulat reason, we prefer to spend money building prisons instead of schools, we'd rather tell people not to have sex until they marry than to tell them to use a condom when having sex, let's lock up drug addicts and sentence people to prison with longer sentences for crimes involving crack vs. powder cocaine, blah blah blah), it is both beautiful and tragic to witness the formalization of a family.

It is tragic that conservative talking heads want to deny lesbian and gay couples the protection of their family structure claiming that children are best raised by a mother and a father, while same-sex couples make a greater effort to become parents. Unlike the happy accidents that result in a child entering a heterosexual union, queer couples have to make an effort to have kids. You have to make room in your home, in your bank account. Most of all, you have to make room in your heart, something few parents do.

Please don't get me wrong -- happy accidents (and if you'll check the dictionary, you'll find that an accident is an unplanned occurrence, nothing more and nothing less) are the reason why most of us are here, and thank God for it. However, it does take something exceptional to make possible the bringing into the world a human being with the intention of making the world a better place, instilling what you hope are good values, and making an opportunity for complete selflessness.

I love you, Zoia, and know your mommies will sometimes make mistakes, as all parents do, will find you completely exasperating at times, which all parents do, but will love you through every good and bad moment, every skinned knee and every unnecessarily long teenage phone call; every question and answer, and every moment they affirm that if they could turn back time, they wouldn't change a thing.


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